Chris soon realised he'd wasted enough time doing endless little jobs around the house, once he'd had a shower he'd done the hoovering and put some washing on, anything to distract himself so that he didn't have to be in the same room as Jayne for any long period of time. He wasn't sure if it was helping or just making everything worse, it just made him think more. Think more about what he wanted and he still didn't know, it was like he needed someone else to make the decision for him, which woman to go to,which one to leave, but no one could do that for him, he was going to have to do it himself, however long it took to make that choice. Avoiding Jayne wasn't helping anything because the longer he stayed away from her the more curious she became, they never avoided each other, never in the whole time they'd known each other. The fact they'd known each other so long made the whole situation that much more complicated, because it was so easy to see through the walls Chris was trying to build to block Jayne out from any kind of emotion he was portraying, it was getting harder and harder the more he thought about leaving her to be with Karen.
"Chris," Jayne said as he passed through the front room for about the tenth time, he was running out of pointless things to do and he'd have to just go and sit with her, because there simply wasn't anything left in the house to do, except sit, and chat, and maybe watch some tv. As soon as he heard her say his name he panicked and he wasn't even sure why, there was no real proof that she'd sussed him out, and there was no way that she knew for definite who the mystery woman was, if there was one, which she has suspicions of.
"What?" he asked, stopping for a second and turning around to face her.
"Why don't you just sit for a minute? You haven't sat down all day, what's wrong?" she asked getting a bit fed up with his ignorance now.
"Nothing's wrong," he said not very convincingly.
"There is, I know there is. I'm not stupid, I know when something isn't right, because you've not spoken to me since you got home, and that's not like you at all for a start. You're normally full of little stories, most of which are totally irrelevant and I don't particularly care about, but still, you're full of 'em. And I haven't heard one. I know something is wrong. I know something is bothering you. But I have absolutely no idea what, and it's starting to annoy me now, so if you don't tell me, I'm going to have to find out for myself."
Chris tried to ignore Jayne but she just knew him far too well, and it was at times like this when it came as a disadvantage. He knew that he wasn't going to get away with just keeping quiet, but he'd no idea what to say, what was he going to tell her? The truth? That would never end well, but it was never going to end well, whenever the truth did eventually come out. Maybe it would be easier to just come out with it, then leave and be gone... but he just couldn't bring himself to do it! He'd thought it through in his head so many times over and over in different scenarios, but he was too afraid to make it happen for real.
"Chris. Sit." Jayne demanded, he looked over at her and tried to smile, but it wasn't really a smile at all, however hard he tried. He walked over to the sofa and sat at the other end of it, guilt filling his body, he was anxious and panicked, he didn't have any more excuses, not that he'd had any to begin with. He was stuck, stuck on the spot, like a rabbit in headlights, or something similar. He was screwed.
"Jayne... I... I.." he stumbled over his words, the words that weren't even there in the first place because he didn't have a clue what he was trying to say, he just opened his mouth, but nothing more came out. And now Jayne was certain he was hiding something and she was determined to find out what.
"What?! What is it?! Because it's really getting on my nerves now Chris, I want you to tell me what it is, you're obvioulsy hiding some massive secret now because I can tell, and you're stumbling over your words, so just come on, be out with it now!" she was more frustrated than angry, she'd never seen Chris look so guilty and confused before, another clue to the secret hiding.
He couldn't say anything, he just physically couldn't. He felt sick inside, but he didn't know what to do, Jayne was staring at him rather intimidatingly and there wasn't a lot he could do about it, except sit there, and he knew that he was going to have to confess to something, he just had to work out whether to tell the truth or lie, and it wasn't easy. He didn't want to tell the truth because their friendship would almost certainly be over in a few seconds, Jayne wasn't going to forgive him for this one. But he couldn't think of any lies to tell, so that was no good either.
Filling the horrid silence, Chris's phone began to vibrate and ring in his pocket, and he knew instantly it would be Karen. Now he was stuck even more, because either way, if he answered it or not, Jayne would want to know who it was and what they wanted, because that was what she was like, and normally Chris wouldn't care, he'd never hidden something like this before.
"Who is that?!" Jayne snapped as soon as she heard the ringtone start.
"I don't know! It's in my bloody pocket!" Chris snapped back at her, and realised he'd no choice but to take the phone out of his pocket and see the call, so he slowly got it out, absolutely dreading the next few seconds, he didn't even get a chance to see it, Jayne snatched it out of his hands as his heart began to beat faster.
Chris's prediction was right, and a very confused look came over Jayne's face as she saw Karen's picture flashing up on Chris's phone, she didn't even recognise her at first, and took a few seconds to work out who it was, by which time Chris had his head in his hands, he didn't know what to do and still didn't know what he was going to say, he wondered if he'd have to say anything - Jayne didn't seem to be registering what she was seeing, or making any links.
"Karen..?" she eventually asked, as if she wasn't sure she was thinking about the right person.
"Yes... I'm so sorry Jayne," he said, apologising before he needed to, probably making things a lot worse than he needed to.
"Sorry? Sorry for what? Who is she, because I'm not sure I've got the right person? Is this Barber?" Chris nodded his head silently, not quite sure if he'd said too much. "How come you two've got speaking then? Have you seen her? Chris please say something, you're freaking me out!"
"Yes I saw her.. on my way back from America, she lives in Newcastle now. That's why I don't have many stories or photos," he explained in shame. Jayne was still linking bits of information that she was recieving, she hadn't yet jumped to any conclusions.
"Wait.." she said and took a deep breath. Why are you sorry for seeing her? Oh god, Chris, you didn't did you?!" she said suddenly starting to realise possiblities. "How many times have you seen her?! Why didn't you tell me, me and Karen used to be best friends back when we were competing, I was so sad when she left, and you've just got in touch with her and didn't think to tell me? What, were you worried she was a threat to me?" she demanded, not assuming anything, and not even thinking about what might have happened when Karen and Chris were together.
"Jayne please let me explain... I'm sorry I've been so distant since I got back, honestly I am. I've just been thinking everything over, and I mean everything. I don't know what to do." he started, still not sure how much he should be telling her.
"What? I'm just getting more and more suspicious now Chris, I want to know" she said. The phone had been ringing all that time because neither of them thought to answer or decline, Jayne still had the phone clutched in her hand, and Chris's call log was on display, with over 50 calls to and from Karen. Jayne looked down and saw it just as Chris was about to explain, but Jayne seeing that messed things up. "How many times have you been calling each other?! Chris what's going on? What happened while you were away?" she then clicked onto his messages and began reading all the ones from Karen, she couldn't believe her eyes, she couldn't believe what was happening. Chris was HER blonde prince.
"I'm so, so, sorry..." he said again, but it wasn't going to help anything. "She found me on facebook a couple of months ago," he started.
"Months?! Months?! Are you telling me you've been sending these dirty texts to each other behind my back for months, and god knows what else when you were with each other, when I thought you were visiting your sons, who I'm not allowed to see. I thought you were with your family in America, across the sea, and really you were up north in the same country with Karen?! And you actually let me believe that?!" tears began to pour down her cheeks as she waited for Chris to attempt to explain himself, not sure what she was about to hear.
No Jayne, we haven't been sending each other 'dirty texts' as you put it, for months. She found me on facebook and we were just catching up with each other, her marriage ended a while ago and she was telling me all about it, that was all."
"And then you ended up in her bed?!" Jayne was absolutely fuming, now she didn't know what to do, she thought about storming out but she didn't want Chris to win his way.
"It's not like that Jayne," he said trying to patch things up and calm her down, but it wasn't as easy as that.
"Oh really?! How did it go then?! Are you trying to tell me that you didn't sleep with her, and that I've just somehow jumped to some crazy conclusion, because it's not at all obviously from these texts?!" she said sarcastically and thrusting the phone in his face, but not letting him have it back.
"Jayne, calm down honey?"
"Calm down!? I'm sorry, you want me to calm down? You haven't even answered my question Chris. Did you sleep with Karen or not?!"
Chris knew the answer would just throw her off again and he didn't like where this was going at all. He knew he'd have had to face it at some point, it was one of the things he was always thinking about, but he didn't think he'd be facing it this soon. He'd been back in the country all of about 24 hours, a little more, and Jayne had already sussed him. Maybe she wouldn't have if Karen hadn't of phoned, but he couldn't be sure.
He sheepishly nodded knowing it was the wrong decision to do so but she was going to find out sooner or later anyway so it seemed like the simplest decision to make. He was going to have to take the grief from her and he knew that, it didn't make much of a difference if he suffered it now or in three weeks time.
"Ok so, you were talking on facebook for months, probably arranged some kind of relationship on there, then went over to hers, while you were supposed to be spending time with your kids," the fact that Chris had had an affair in the time he was supposed to be spending with his kids was the part that annoyed her even more,"and then you slept with her, and had a fabulous time by the sounds of it?" she said glancing in the direction of his phone, "and have basically been having a relationship with her the whole time. When were you going to tell me? Or were you just going to let me find out like this anyway, was that your plan all along? Doesn't she know we're toegther? Because it seems a bit strange that she'd ring at this kind of time anyway, you'd think that she'd have a bit more sense, and wait until you told her you were out? No?"
Chris was stuck for words again now, what even was there to say to that? There was nothing he could say that would make anything better, or change anything that Jayne had discovered, because it was all true, and she had the evidence right there in her hand. It was too soon, too soon for him to have let her find out, he'd have much rather have been in the relationship with Karen a good few months, or even weeks, not hours, a few days. Nothing was even official yet, not really. He hadn't made any final decisions yet, hence why he hadn't wanted Jayne to find out, and he hadn't told her. He would have told her eventually, it would have taken time and courage, but he would have done, at some point.
Jayne knew he had nothing more to say, and she didn't like it. She was waiting for more of an explanation, or she thought she was. After her ranting she thought he might have something to add, or argue, or something. "I want you out." she said quietly. Neither of them moved, so she repeated herself. "OUT. I MEAN IT."
"Take your ****ing phone and get out of this house, my house. Go on, go. Get out, and go find your princess." her words hurt, they were blunt. As Chris got up to move, she threw his phone at him and it hit him before falling to the floor, he grabbed his coat and picked the phone up from the floor and did as he was instructed, he left the house. Jayne's words were too intimidating to ignore, he'd never ignored her before in his life. She'd never shouted at him either. Chris had shouted at Jayne a few times while they were on the ice, but it had never been anything like this.
He had absolutely no idea where he was going to go, it was nearly 5pm and getting dark out, he got in his car and drove to the end of the road, the fact was he had no where to go... He didn't even feel like ringing Karen, not really. He wanted to be alone, he wanted things to go back to how they were before because he didn't know how to handle what was going on now. He drove around the smallish town for almost two hours before he decided to pick up the phone and call Karen, it took him that long to get into his head what had just happened, it was hard to comprehend with but it was true and he was going to have to accept it.
"Get yourself up here now, I can't have you just driving around the streets all night with no where to go," Karen decided firmly after Chris had eventually told her everything that had happened with him and Jayne, what she'd said, done, what he'd done, every little detail was now out in the open.
"Are you sure?" He asked doubting her offer which seemed to kind for him to accept then.
"Of course I'm bloody sure, I'm not going to leave you by yourself am I?! And I do hope you're not driving now while talking to me..."
"Ok thanks a bunch Karen, seriously thank you. Even if its just a few days, thanks, I love you. And no I'm not driving, I've pulled over. I guess I should go, got a long journey up? I'll ring you halfway," he said, a sheepish smile forming on his face. She cared about him and that's what he loved then, that when someone let him down she just automatically popped up to put a smile on his face.
"You're very welcome, and it can be as long as you like, it doesn't matter how long or how short, we'll discuss it when we get that far eh? Love you too, take care, I'll speak to you soon." He put his phone back in the holder, realising he could talk to Karen all the way if he wanted and just have it on the loudspeaker setting so he didn't have to hold the phone, or use his handsfree. But then again maybe it would do him good to take some more time to clear his head. He decided to turn up the radio, and just drive, and concentrate. The time seemed to go much quicker than he thought, and as he entered Newcastle he dialled Karen's number. He didn't pull over because if he did the tiredness would suddenly hit him just like that and it'd be a struggle to actually make it to Karen's with his eyes open. He couldn't quite remember where to go, so he had to get directions from her, having a bit of a chat as well. He managed to take a couple of wrong turnings even with Karen directing him the whole way but he got there in the end and it didn't take him that long.
As he climbed out the car it felt strange not to have any luggage with him, he'd have to go back for some things once he knew what he was doing. Karen opened the door before he'd even got to the doorstep, she was waiting in the doorway with that gorgeous smile he loved on her face. It still didn't feel like they'd been apart again, and they were both so happy to see each other it wasn't quite believable.
"I've missed you," she said flirtatiously and called him inside, putting the kettle on and directing him to take a seat and make himself at home.
"I've missed you too, lots.. maybe a little too much?"
"Chris." Karen said, her tone of voice suddenly becoming more serious. "I just want you to know I'm here for you if you want it, I'm not here to judge you or whatever, and I'm really so, so sorry about you and Jayne, I really am. I can't say she must think much of me at the moment.. We used to be good friends in the beginning? I guess things just pass... And some good things have to end so new things can begin right? I guess what I mean is I don't want either of us to be pressured into anything too quickly." She explained a bit nervously, it wasn't the easiest of things for her to say.
He looked her right in the eye before replying, he already trusted her totally, maybe it was a bad thing, maybe not, but it did genuinely feel like they'd known each other for years and been the best of friends the whole time, it was a slightly strange feeling but one he wouldn't mind getting used to.
"Karen, I think I love you..." The words came out of his mouth before he could really stop them, he'd said it to her before on their weekend together and she'd said it back to him, but it didn't quite have the same meaning, it didn't mean love like he was having waves of then, it was just more of a casual phrase, 'I love you' they just said it like it didn't mean anything special. Karen was getting mixed emotions from him, she didn't know how serious he was and what he meant, or what he was implying, it just left them both sort of in a confused state and left an awkward silence lingering which neither of them seemed to know how to fill.
"I love you too, but, I mean.. sorry. This is really awkward now isn't it? I think we should just take things slow y'know?" She was trying her hardest to make things less awkward by stating the obvious, but it wasn't really working. They both just felt more uncomfortable than to begin with...
"I'm sorry, I, it's too soon, I shouldn't have said anything.." Chris felt his cheeks turn a deep shade of crimson, it didn't happen to him often, he wasn't an easily embarrassed person. Karen soon stopped his words, put a finger to his lips and leaned across to kiss him lightly.
"It's not too soon for that I don't think," she giggled and then moved away, tucking her feet up underneath her. They found a music channel on the tv and watched for a while before they started chatting again. It crossed Chris's mind a couple of times what Jayne might be doing, what she might be feeling, but he soon pushed the thoughts out of his head, he couldn't let himself think about her, they were over and nothing would change that.
He told himself his feelings towards Jayne would soon fizzle out, he had Karen now, but the guilt was still there. His thought process was eventually interrupted, probably for the better, by the front door slamming.
"That'll be Laura," Karen informed him, and got up to go and see her daughter and encourage her to come and meet Chris. Karen had had a very brief conversation with Emma and Laura about her being in a relationship a little while ago; they'd both been hit hard when their parents got divorced and hadn't long been slowly adjusting to it, they still saw Stephen though, mainly at weekends providing neither of them had organised their own plans.
"Laura, this is Chris, he'll be staying here for a while," she said. "Chris, this is my youngest daughter." Laura and Chris said hi and shook hands, but Laura was eager to escape the slightly awkward situation and went up to her bedroom where she spent most of her time.
"Emma is staying at her friend's so you'll meet her tomorrow, I hope you get on.. I'm not sure how they'll take it - me and you - I haven't been with anyone else at all since the divorce."
"It's ok, I understand Karen, I've been through this before you know," he reminded her and and leaned in for another short kiss. "You ok?" he asked noticing Karen had become a bit edgy, she'd gone quiet all of a sudden considering the chatty, bubbly mood she'd been in until then.
"I'm fine." she answered quickly.
"Are you sure? You don't seem fine, I mean the word 'fine' doesn't always mean fine does it?" he looked deep into her eyes as he spoke, and she realised that she wasn't going to get away with lying to him, not that she really wanted to.
"I'm okay I promise," she said bravely and a little more convincingly. He realised she wasn't going to open up to him totally though he knew something, whether it be something small or tiny, was bothering her, and he'd get it out of her eventually.
"If you're sure.." he decided and kissed her lips again. "You can tell me anything, remember that." he said and then they went back to snuggling down on the sofa together again, Chris had his arm wrapped around Karen's small body and she was leaning on his chest.
Sorry this is short I wrote most of it in my history lesson earlier when we were supposed to be watched a film haha xx Hope you all like it still, I'll make sure that in the next couple of bits it gets a bit more interesting :P
-- Edited by Sk8tingGleek on Tuesday 22nd of May 2012 07:45:10 PM
-- Edited by Sk8tingGleek on Tuesday 22nd of May 2012 07:52:34 PM
They didn’t stay like that long though, they were both hungry and Laura was sneakily texting Karen asking what was for dinner which was a clear hint that really meant ‘I’m starving and I don’t want to go downstairs, please make food now!!’ which Karen knew if she didn’t get dinner on soon she’d get a text saying exactly that. Chris’s journey up to Karen’s was definitely enough to build up his appetite, he was hungry too but he never said anything, he felt rude too, and he assumed he’d get fed eventually anyway.
“You must be starving,” Karen realised, thinking suddenly that she’d been a bad host, she’d not asked Chris if he wanted anything, and it didn’t even occur to her until she got Laura’s text from upstairs. She got up and gestured for him to follow her through to the kitchen. It was a big room with a black tiled floor, a breakfast bar in the corner and lots more units than Chris had ever had in his kitchen.
“I am a bit,” he admitted.
“I’ll just make something quick tonight, but I do make proper dinners usually,” she laughed., opening the freezer and picking out the chicken pie. “You’re not vegetarian or anything are you?” she checked quickly before putting it in the oven, Chris just shook his head, and offered to cut up some potatoes. It only took about half an hour to get ready, and Laura came down without Karen even calling her, she came down shortly after the smell drifted up the stairs.
“Sit at the table it’ll be ready in a minute,” Karen said to her daughter and Chris sat on the other side, letting Karen finish serving up. After quickly making up some gravy and putting it in the centre of the table along with other sauces, salt and pepper, got them all cutlery, she went back over to the sink and began piling up pots. Laura had already started eating, Chris felt it was polite to wait.
“Mum will you leave that and come here?! I’ll even do it after I’m done eating so you and Chris can have some time if you want.”
None of them talked much while they ate, they sat in pretty much silence, Laura bringing up the odd question to Karen to ask for permission to go here or there in the week, or in a few weeks, the answer was generally always yes. As promised as soon as she’d finished eating Laura got up and went to start the washing up, taking off all her rings and bracelets before putting her hands in. When Karen finished a few minutes after Chris, she took their plates and whispered a thank you into her ear, patted her on the back gratefully and took Chris back into the living room and they found a film to watch.
At about 11 Karen went to check Laura was in bed, she was tired herself and could easily have gone to bed right then but she wasn’t going to leave Chris and he probably wouldn’t want to join her that early either, so she went back down to join them and they snuggled up for a while, Chris felt his own eyes starting to close though and let out a loud yawn startling Karen who was half dozing off as Chris cuddled her next to him.
“Shall we go up to bed?” Chris suggested seeing how tired Karen looked beside him.
“Only if you want to,” she replied, yawning herself.
“I think we’re both shattered, I think we should.. Come on,” he said and gently eased her off of him so they could both stand up, and took his bag from the hallway as they passed and both went up into Karen’s bedroom. “Mind if I use your shower quickly?” Chris asked, rummaging around in his bag which rested on the side of the bed that didn’t look like it was Karen’s side.
“Of course, hang on I’ll get you a towel,” she went out to the hallway and laid a towel out in the bathroom for him, and pointed across the hall to the right direction.
“Thanks,” he replied kissing her head before he went, taking his pyjamas in his hand and his tooth brush.
Karen sat cross legged on her side of the bed and picked up her phone, scrolling down her twitter page. She didn’t really know how to use it properly and she didn’t have that many followers, she’d not long had an account. She knew that Chris and Jayne had a joint account but didn’t dare follow it.. Since their sneaky weekend she had checked to see if any of them had tweeted a couple of times though. She had meant to get ready for bed herself before Chris returned, but she got distracted replying to a text, and he was back before she knew it. She took her pyjamas out from beneath her pillow and was about to change but paused for a few seconds, awkwardly looking over at Chris.
“What? If you’re nervous about that Karen, I’ve seen it all before remember? And since I assume we will be sleeping in the same bed…” she blushed and realised it was true, he’d seen her body and it wasn’t really anything to be ashamed of, she just had a strange feeling come over her that she wasn’t used to feeling.
“Sorry, I, I don’t know, I mean you’re right..” she said quietly.
“it’s no big deal Kaz,” he comforted her. If you don’t want to get changed in front of me I’ll leave the room if you really want?”
“No it’s fine, sorry I’m just being stupid, I mean we slept together for god’s sake..” and with that she pulled her dress over her head and put on her pyjama top which was a black lacy vest, ad then she took her bra off and pulled it through the arm hole. To go with the lacy vest was a pair of black shorts which she pulled on, and then climbed into bed at the same time as Chris did.
“Goodnight darling,” he said, about to turn over and close his eyes in an attempt to sleep.
“Wait-” she leaned over putting her hand on his shoulder, and pressed their lips together, locked together as if they were made for that purpose, after a few seconds she opened her mouth slightly to deepen the kiss before pulling away slowly. “goodnight Chris,” she said, smiling and then tucking herself under the duvet, closing her eyes.
Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Will try and do a few more updates this week, and it will get more interesting soon I promise.. hope you all like it!
