Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this fanfiction and it is not meant to cause anyone any harm or offense
Rating: 12
Face to face and heart to heart We're so close yet so far apart. I close my eyes And look away That's just because I'm not okay.
We were lying in each other’s arms, in the luxurious king sized bed of the romantic hotel. The clean, crisp sheets draped over our naked bodies as we kissed passionately, placing soft kisses on each other’s lips, and down the neck, and up again. It felt right, but wrong at the same time. I’d only just separated from my wife Jill, and I knew Karen was having problems with Stephen, vaguely anyway… she hadn’t really told me much before she dragged me up to the bedroom, and here we are two weeks later in the best five star hotel in our part of London. It had all happened quite quickly if I’m honest, but when we were in a bed together it felt like we’d been together a couple for years, if not more, it was phenomenal. But sometimes it felt too wrong, I almost felt guilty, guilty that I was the reason Karen was having an affair, even though that she had come on to me first. It wasn’t a good feeling, but it didn’t stick around long enough for me to do anything about it or stop it, or even think about what we were doing. By day at the rink, it was as if there was no evening bedroom relationship at all.
But I hold on I stay strong Wondering if we still belong.
We never told anyone, I don’t even remember how long it was until even Jayne found out, Karen is the best woman I’ve ever met at keeping a relationship like that a secret, I’ve never known anything like it, she shows so much love and affection whenever we get the chance to be alone, and as soon as someone enters the room it’s like she snaps out of that world and into another world entirely. But I’m always hopeful because she lectures me on how much she loves me, and she wants to be with me, just as much as I want to be with her.
Will we ever say the words we're feeling? Reach down underneath And tear down all the walls? Will we ever have a happy ending? Or will we forever only be pretending? Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-a-always a-a-a-a-always be pretending?
Sometimes when we’re at the rink I do wonder if we’ll ever actually come out as a couple though, we tell each other we love each other and want to spend our lives with each other, but it’s almost like Karen doesn’t ever want anyone to find out, and I wonder if it’s going to work… whether there’s any actual point in this relationship? Is she just using me as a therapy for her failing marriage?
How long do I fantasise Make believe that it's still alive? Imagine that, I am good enough And we can chose, the ones we love.
But I hold on I stay strong Wondering if we still belong.
I’m far too shy about this kind of thing to ask Karen myself about any of all of this, it seems stupid to even risk jeopardising what we’ve built up, we’re both happy, or at least seem to be, and maybe that’s enough? Maybe we’ll be one of these couples that live together, make out all the time, but only in private, never in public, never broadcast it to anyone, not even our closest friends and family. It seems strange to think that some people actually do that, it must take so much courage and bravery to go along as if nothing else is happening, and act totally as normal around anyone else. Could I do it? Especially when we work in such a large business with so many people involved, it would be practically impossible to resist just running my hands all over her steaming hot body at any given point in the day… I think I’m being stupid, of course she’s not going to want to do that, all the sneaking around must just be until she sorts things out with her husband.
Will we ever say the words we're feeling? Reach down underneath And tear down all the walls? Will we ever have a happy ending? Or will we forever only be pretending? Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending?
She needs to talk to Stephen, two months after the night our relationship took a massive leap, Karen still hadn’t mentioned Stephen again or what was going to happen. It was time I spoke up and told her that I didn’t want to continue until he knew, not that I wanted him to find out we were…you know. But it really didn’t feel right, as much as Karen tried to persuade me everything was fine, it didn’t feel right to be with her in that way, treating her as a very single woman. It was becoming a little ridiculous…
Keeping secrets safe Every move we make. Seems like no ones letting go And it's such a shame 'Cause if you feel the same How am I supposed to know?
I finally got her to talk to me one night, and it was then she told me about what he’d been doing. All this time Karen had come to me for some emotional support, to make her feel happy, and loved, and give her a major confidence boost. Not because she was trying to be an obnoxious, two faced bitch, but because he was harming her. She kept trying to tell me but never quite got the full story out, like she was afraid of the truth and what the consequences were because of his behaviour towards her. But eventually it all came tumbling out of her innocent mouth that I’d not once heard a bad word come out of. She told me all about Stephen’s threats and challenges, how he’d severely warned her and she’d just nodded and agreed with bated breath. It all started when Karen had tried to tell him that their marriage really wasn’t working anymore, it was crumbling to pieces and he just didn’t want to admit it, even though, deep down he knew it was true. He knew that Karen had moved on, he could tell in the early days, because she’d not once ever lied to him in the whole 20 years they’d been married. He knew right from the beginning! He’d made her promise she wouldn’t tell a soul about their marriage reaching its limits and coming to an end, and exaggerated on the facts about what would happen if she were to commit adultery.
Will we ever say the words we're feeling? Reach down underneath And tear down all the walls? Will we ever have a happy ending? Or will we forever only be pretending? Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be... Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be... Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending?
Now that everything had flooded out about Stephen I finally fully understood why Karen was so careful not to let anyone, not even Jayne, find out about our secret relationship. It was a shocking story and I knew I couldn’t just carry on and let Karen go along with Stephen’s evil plans, but I didn’t know what to say to her at first. After a lot of thinking I finally came out with the right words to say, and she seemed very grateful for my support of her. I knew it was going to take some time but I knew eventually I was going to bring her self confidence back and give her enough fuel to stand up for herself and her own rights in front of her husband, and it was going to take a lot to get her to do that, but it had to be done.
I saw a bright, bright future ahead of us as a couple and I hoped the visions in my mind would one day come true…
