This is all about the divorce but in a way i dont think anyone has ever thought about! Its from Jill’s point of view. I jabe looked into her side of what was said but i couldnt really find anything, ither than Chris' statement so im just going on the little fact thst i know from that and from what was said in "Our Life on Ice." please no hate, this is just fun. Renee this is all your fault, well techinally mine but I am blaming you ;)
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"Bye mum" and with that came the slam of the door. I was all alone. Really alone. Today was the day that the divorce became final. In the last couple of months I begane to think about the different types of alone you get. Ive come up with 3. 1. Being without a husband for 5/6 months of the year (including new year), 2. Being alone in the house when the boys are at school, and 3. Which is where I am as of today, Single, alone. No longer married. I wondered what the world would be like, I haven't been single since I was 25. That was feels like a thousand years ago. But really only 16 years. Well 17. What if i really was a rebound? What if Chris only married me to hide the fact that he couldnt have someone else. No! i need to stop thinking theses things. I looked at my phone and saw 2 messages from Chris. “Well today is the day, Thanks for the best 16 years i could have ever asked for Jill! You're the best! Love You x” “That’ll be the last time i’ll ever say that to you… Phone me when your up. x” I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes. I put my phone back on my dresser and got changed.
After making breakfast and tidying up after the boys mess I sat on sofa in front of the TV and turned on Jerry Springer. ‘And this weeks topic is Failed Marriages’ Great. I turned Sky off and decided to put a DVD on. Running back upstairs I looked at the pile beside the bed that hadn’t beens slept in for 2 months, and grab ‘Beaches’. Sitting on the sofa with a steaming mug of coffee, and 2 dogs beside me, all I could do was think “this is what my life is going to be like, watching sappy old movies and a dog, 2 when Chris is away. Yes Chris and I are still going to be friends, He knows too much to let him just push him away, and it wouldn’t be fair on the boys. Through out the the day i have keep looking at my phone, trying to get the confidence to phone Chris. I can hear it for the last time. I don’t want to get Divorced but at the same time i can’t just sit all by myself for 5 months waiting for my husband to come home. There is nothing worse than when Chris comes home and he talks all about the door and all about the inside jokes that occurred between everyone. I don’t tell Chris that it annoys me, because this is what he has always wanted, this is all he has worked for. I’m not going to tell him that I want him to quit the show because he loves it just like it was his own kid.
I’m taking out of my thoughts to Chris Voice singing, I grab my phone and answer “Hey!” trying to sound as happy as I can “Hey Jill, are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry I’ve been really busy tidying the house and cleaning the cars” Trying my hardest not to sound too distant.
“It’s fine, So how are you feeling? Have you got anything of the lawyers yet?"
“Erm, i’ve not even been in the office today, i'll go check now. Have you?"
“Nope”
“Strange they said they’d be there in our hands by 12, It’s now 10. Are you not at work?”
“True. Yeah I am, we’re on a coffee break. I’ve not had coffee in 2 hours”
“How have you not lost your mind?” Laughing
“Oh your so hilarious Jillian!”
“Hey!! Enough of the full name Christopher!!” and we both go silent
“Hey Jill, We’ll be okay. You know that.” he sounds as sad as I feel
“Yeah I know that. It’s just, it’ll be odd not to have you in the house."
“Yeah I know what you mean, it will, but I’ve got a house just around the corner so it won’t be too far, and I don’t get that till September. So your stuck with me for a little while after tour. I’ll move into the spare bedroom. Give you our room"
“Too late for that Chris, I’m in the spare room."
“What, Why?"
“Why? Because it was hard for me to sleep in it. It felt a lot bigger for some reason. After you left just after Christmas it felt so strange, and like I was in the middle of a canyon. Chris are you okay? Your not normally like this when your at work?"
“I’m in my dressing room. How can anyone be okay when they’re getting divorced?!"
Silence again.
“I don’t want to loose you Jill"
“Chris you won’t. I don’t want to loose you either! We’re still friends."
“ I know. I better go, i’ve got choreography to do, i'll talk to you later honey… Sorry! force of habit"
“Its fine, Go work. I’ll text you when i have the papers"
“Okay bye Jill"
“Bye Chris"
Looking at my watch I decide to go to run some errands. Stopping at the supermarket I grab some food for the next week for the boys and I and some alcohol for next week, when they boys are away, seeing Chris. After stopping at Starbucks on the way back home I grab a Latte and head back to the house. I put the groceries away and then take the dogs for a walk. I walk to the local dog park and sit on the bench and throw the ball for a little while. This is what my life will be like, throwing balls for the dogs. After half an hour in the dog park I take the dogs home. I look at my watch and its just gone 1. I need to clear my mind, so I grab my skates and head to the rink.
Just standing on the ice feels like I’m falling in love with the sport all over again. I love having the rink to myself. Everyone is at school/ work so it’s completely empty! Doing jumps and axels reallymy s makes me wonder why I don’t do this more often. another half hour on the ice and i remember why. My shoulder and ankle are killing me. I take my blood thinning tablet, just as a pre-caution and go to pick up the boys from school.
